Bench the Veteran!

So Pakistan has lost what many think is the be-all and end-all of their World Cup dream. Many would take a victory over India than a place in the Finals of the tournament, such is the sentimental value attached to the sport, and it’s most riveting rivalry.

While the loss could have been expected, given India’s dominance over Pakistan in World Cups, there is a feeling that this was probably an opportunity missed, keeping in mind India’s recent woes on their tour of Down Under. But this was definitely not the best Pakistani lineup to come up against India in a World Cup.  

One can hardly call any one the eleven who were selected to be an ODI great. Misbah-ul-Haq and Shahid Afridi might be considered by many as greats, but just as many would disagree!

But not having a handful of greats should not be an excuse for the defeat. In fact there should be no excuses. Granted that the team does not have at its disposal the legends of World Cups past; the team does have enough firepower to defy expectations, and morph into a good ODI unit.

All of Pakistan’s recent problems can be traced back to a couple of events from late last year:

1. The banning of Mohammad Hafeez from bowling in international 
2. The dropping of Younis Khan from the ODI unit for the Australia series, and his tirade afterwards (in Septmeber).

The banning of Hafeez from bowling in internationals was probably the biggest setback for Team Green. Not only is Professor a better opener than Younis, he also provided the team with a genuine fifth bowler option. Hafeez was no part-timer with the ball; he was an attacking bowler with an exceptionally good economy rate, who could open the bowling.

But that happened a few series ago. Pakistan never had a Plan B, a reserve allrounder as good as Hafeez. Pakistan tried making do with Haris Sohail, Ahmed Shahzad and Younis sharing ten overs between them but that experiment never bore any fruit, which forced a rethink of the team’s composition.

It was decided that five specialist bowlers would play. But who would make room for the fifth bowler to come in? Instead of dropping your worst performing batsman, Pakistan chose to get rid of the most specialized position that the sport has: the wicketkeeper, Sarfraz Ahmed.

Not only had Sarfraz done better than Younis recently with the bat (barring Younis’ century against New Zealand which did not result in a win), Sarfraz had also performed decently as an opener in the couple of games that he was handed an opportunity.

That, in turn meant that Umar Akmal would keep wickets for Pakistan. All the Akmal jokes aside, Umar has never been too keen on having the dual responsibility. Moreover, throughout the preceding series, Umar had not kept wickets, and was probably rusty when the time came to step up. You can’t blame a part-time wicketkeeper for a drop, just as you wouldn’t blame a part-time bowler for leaking 80 in 10!

Opening with Younis meant that he himself was playing in a position unfamiliar to him. To do so, in foreign conditions is absurd. To do so against India, in what might be the highest pressure game for the team, is outright crazy.

Not only was the opening partnership new and unsettled, our number 3 was a raw player, who had never played at first drop. Playing Haris Sohail at that position was not only a disservice to the batsman, but also one against the team’s balance and its middle order.

If blame is to be placed on someone, it has to be the management; the captain, coach, and selectors on tour. Their inability and/or reluctance to drop Younis Khan from the playing XI has robbed the team of balance. Selecting Younis does not mean just choosing him over another batsman; it has consequences that go beyond just one position out of the XI; an unsettled opening pair, a raw number 3, a weaker middle order, and a part-time keeper.

No one has ever doubted Younis’ commitment to the team, his patriotism, his fitness, or his work ethic. But more than anything, his form needs to be evaluated. Younis may well be our best Test batsman, and one of our top 5 ever, but his one day record has been ordinary overall, more so of late. It’s time that the management realizes that his use-by date has come and gone, and his inclusion will hurt the team more than helping it. For Pakistan’s fortunes to take a turn for the positive, the stalwart has to be benched. 

The plight of a Pakistani fan

Pakistan has just scripted a comprehensive victory over a resurgent Australian team. Arguably one of the best performances in recent memory by Pakistan, this win should rank alongside Pakistan’s clean sweep of the top-ranked England side. Pakistani fans around the world are delighted, with even higher expectations of the team for the rest of the series.

We have just witnessed a much underrated batsman become Pakistan’s most prolific century-maker. To outdo Javed Miandad and Inzimam-ul-Haq is no easy feat; yet the lack of flamboyance and substance-over-style mentality of Younis Khan may always leave him right below Pakistan’s league of legends.

We have also just seen Pakistan’s backup spin options rise up to the occasion in the absence of their premier twirler. The fact that they bowled left arm orthodox (Zulfiqar Babar) and right arm leg-spin (Yasir Shah) so beautifully in tandem is not lost on anyone.

Also just witnessed was a flurry of centuries. Ahmed Shahzad might have come a long way from the days of carefree strokeplay, but he has proved that his more sedate approach is working. Sarfraz Ahmed might be too raw on the international scene to be termed great, but he is certainly the next best thing. Any gloveman would’ve been better than a certain Akmal, but one who scores consistently against attacks as varied as Australia and Sri Lanka is certainly more than a blessing; he might just be a miracle!

That Azhar Ali, Asad Shafiq and Misbah chipped in was the cherry on top for Pakistani fans. The two pacemen, Imran Khan and Rahat Ali, did what was expected of them. This was as good a team effort as possible, much better than the England whitewash, which was more of an Ajmal-Rehman show.

What does all this mean for a Pakistani fan? While rightly jubilant in their celebrations, they are also wary; never confident in their team, yet always behind them.

The average Pakistani fan of the ‘90s expected a win in every game; the average Pakistani fan now can only hope. A team with the two W’s, the two Y’s, Inzi, Shoaib and Saqi could beat the best in the world; you can’t expect that from a team whose captain divides opinion, whose best batsman has second thoughts about continuing to play, whose spinners have a total of two caps among them and whose opening combination is as steady as a camel ride during an earthquake.

The fan is wary of Pakistan’s tendency to self-combust. The same batsmen who piled on the runs in the recently concluded game against Australia can easily be knocked over for 110-odd by the same bowling lineup on the same surface in the following game.

The fan is also wary of Pakistan’s shoddy fielding. One dropped catch against a player of Warner’s caliber can turn a match on its head, and Pakistan’s fielding is extremely capable of letting a catch, and consequently a game, slip away.

The fan is also wary of the dirty politics that is synonymous with Pakistani cricket administration. The only position that has changed hands more often than our openers has been the chairmanship of the board. The whims of the Patron in Chief constantly clash with the supposed supremacy of the courts in the land of the pure, and who knows when the next clash of the egos will take place, and what or who that clash will bring in.

The fan is also wary of the captaincy merry-go-round that has become the norm in Pakistan cricket. We have involuntarily been trained to accept whoever shows up at the toss as our captain for that game, and no more.

The fan is also wary of the sudden retirements and consequent retractions that have been the result of changes in administration, captain, coaching staff, or the state of mind of the retiree in question.

And lastly, the fan is wary of corruption, namely the next fixing scandal, constantly doubting a player’s failure, a captain’s decision. Every time Pakistan loses from a position of parity if not dominance, whispers of match-fixing start doing the rounds. Every no-ball is looked at with skepticism, every dropped catch with suspicion of malice.

This is a brief period of celebration for the Pakistani cricket fan. Expectations are high, but we have learnt from the past. We might never be able to replicate the success of our past greats, but we will keep looking forward to the emergence of a new one. We will learn to make do with what we have and hope. The typical Pakistani fan will remain optimistic, but only cautiously so!

Being un-Islamic in an Islamic Republic

There is a picture doing the rounds on social media websites among Pakistanis. It concerns one of the leading Urdu language newspapers Jang. Apparently the newspaper reported the occurrence of a press conference, held by the Qadiani community. Nothing significant, as far as news goes, with the topic of discussion in the said conference vague. 

The comments on the right of the picture have been added on by some dim-witted conspiracy theorist with access to internet and an image editing software. For those of you that do not read Urdu, this is what it says:
"News and a picture about Qadiani's press conference was published by The Daily Jang, 27th March, 2012, Page Number 12. It can be inferred that GEO and Jang are following the agenda of Jewish Lobby(ist)s. Please share"

How on earth did a picture of a news conference, whose subject is not discussed, suddenly become Jewish agenda? What else is the role of a newspaper, than to report news?? What is the Jewish agenda??? And when did anything that does not conform to the religious beliefs of the majority become a conspiracy???

I understand the general sentiment that Qadiani's do not believe in the true form of Islam. But just because I understand how people might see them differently does not mean that I agree with them. Who are we to judge, right? But the thing that irks me the most is the fact that just because someone has different beliefs than you, he/she becomes a foreign agent, or a spy, or at the very least, unpatriotic. I have friends who are devout Hindus, and die-hard Pakistanis. Decades of brainwashing, starting from the time of Dictator Zia-ul-Haq, has resulted in Pakistanis thinking that Muslim and Pakistani is the same thing, and that you cannot be a Pakistani without being a Muslim first. 

Oh how un-Islamic this Islamic Republic of ours has become!!!

Ban me, PTA!!!

The current Pakistani government confounds and confuses, frustrates and disappoints, and promises and fails, in an endless loop of incompetency and ignorance. The government though, has never failed to amuse.

Policies and laws, and their implementation or lack thereof, has made this land of the pure the laughing stock of the modern world. The phrase 'comedy of errors' was coined once the first government of Pakistan took office (not a fact, but seems extremely plausible!).

The latest in their long line of faux pas is an initiative from Pakistan Telecommunications Authority (PTA), trying to ban certain 'immoral' words from being transmitted. The words cover everything from sexual references, to cuss words, and some random ones, like 'idiot', and 'OICU812', which might be sexual references that I couldn't understand. (See: http://www.netlingo.com/word/oicu812.php)

Then there are 'un-Islamic' words like 'damn', 'devil', and 'Jesus Christ'. That is just bordering on the insane. How many of us, as Pakistanis, have come across, and befriended Pakistani Christians? And how would JC in any shape or form be un-Islamic, or immoral???

Sit back and think or a second... the word 'devil' might be used in religious texts and their translations, and they might get blocked as well!!!

And does PTA really think that the intelligent public of Pakistan could not, and would not, come up with substitutes for these words. As comprehensive as the list might seem, even I can work around it, to get my point across, in equally lewd terms! (Not something to be proud of!!!)

Here is the most important question of all though: who the heck came up with this list? I can see people (males, probably repressed perverts) sitting around a table, and trying to one-up each other on who could come up with the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) words for the list. All fun and games!

Chairman of the Sindh Assembly's Standing Committee on Minorities Affairs, Saleem Khurshid Khokhar, has raised concerns about 'Jesus Christ'... Commendable! But should that voice not have been raised against the complete list??? Is that not what 'freedom of speech' is? Or is that reserved for our beloved Geos and ARYs only?

More than a 'freedom of speech' issue, this is an 'invasion of privacy' of sorts. Why does Pakistan even have  a Ministry of Information and Broadcasting? They do not decide how people are educated (that is done by the Board of Education). And they are certainly not the spokespersons of the Presidency. The 'information' and its distribution should be handled by the Board of Education, and a government spokesperson, and the 'broadcasting' should be PTA's responsibility (much like the FCC in the United States, where all radio frequencies are allotted and regulated by the FCC, whether they be for radio stations, telecom carriers, or military communications). The ministry's sole purpose is to censor, and create propaganda. The Information Minister of Pakistan deciding on what you can share with your friends, with or without benefits, is the worst form of censorship possible.

The banning of websites such as Facebook and Youtube, under blasphemy pretenses, and texts that had political satire, under the umbrella of spam, went comparatively unnoticed, even if they were not well received. This is pushing the envelope. The people of Pakistan should stand up for what their birth right is. Heck if the online Aalim (Aamir Liaquat Hussain) can cuss and sing un-Islamically at the set of a religious program, it should be OK for a sinner like me to do it.

And just to piss PTA off, I am going to say that they are SHITOUTOFLUCK, and are so effing STUPID, that they have included the word MASTURBATE twice without spelling it right either time! (by the way, 'effing' is one of the words that bypasses the ban, and conveys the message just as effectively as the original F-word).

Here is the complete list of the banned words, which has been circulated around the web so often that it has made some the obscure words part of regular Pakistani lingo:
https://docs.google.com/a/huffingtonpost.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0Bw6nfJopnFT5ZjQwODIyYzUtOWI5My00NDNlLTkyNzEtZDQyYTgyNDBhNjZk&hl=en_GB&pli=1

PS Good thing Pakistan Telecommunication Authority does not regulate the blogosphere... yet!

PSS They are funny though... 'Pubic Lice' is one of the banned words on the list. I couldn't have come up with that!


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Karachi - the City of Chaos (formerly known as the City of Lights)

Ah Karachi... the memories that it brings are endless!

I was reminiscing about the city the other day, and counting the resons for which I loved the city. It was vibrant, never asleep like Islamabad; multi-cultural, unlike Lahore; and I had the best group of friends and family there, always just a short, adventurous bus-ride away.

Sure Karachi has always had its share of problems. But the people were resilient, working their way through all of them. It was part of everyday life.

I remember joking with friends that I couldn't breathe in the States because the air was too clean and did not have enough diesel-engine smoke! I remember everyone from the mohalla stepping out of their homes during the continuous load-shedding. What I don't remember is anyone complaining about it! We were immune to these trivial details and knew how to live.

I remember Tariq Road on chaand raat, Urdu Bazaar for books, the oily beaches at Sea View, the snooker joints, and the cyber cafes.

I remember the rich spending their money at Zamzama, and the not-so-rich doing the same at Zainab Market.

I remember Highway karahi, Student biryani, Silver Spoon, Dhoraji gola gandas, halwa puri, paan-walas, and chai parathas.

The events of the recent past have forced me to rethink about the city that I once thought was among the best. The fact that Karachi was multi-ethnic was it's greatest asset. Everyone thrived in Karachi (or at least did better than wherever they'd come from). People from Peshawar and Quetta, from interior Sindh, to Pind (no offense), from Afghanistan to Bangladesh, were all happy to be here.

Which brings us to the question: what changed? Nothing, if you ask me. Nothing but the groups of faces have changed since partition. We, as Pakistanis, are, and have always been one of the most discriminating, prejudiced and confused people.

We, as Pakistanis, have differences among Muslims and Non-Muslims; within Muslims, as Shi'as and Sunnis; within Sunnis, as Wahabbis and Hanafis; and sometimes, within them, as Syeds and non-Syeds, or as Ahl-e-Hadees and Ahl-e-Sunnat.

We, as Pakistanis, have differences among Punjabis and Pashtuns; among them as those who speak correct Punjabi/Pashto and those who don't; among Karachiites and Sindhis (although Karachiites are technically Sindhis); within Muhajirs as Delhi-walay/Biharis etc.

These differences have been ever-present. What have we done to eliminate them? Nothing! If a milli naghma could have solved all our problems, then 'Main Bhi Pakistan Hoon' would have done it decades ago.

So the violence in Karachi is not as much a case of deteriorating law and order, as one of confused ideologies and identities. And let us start taking blame for our own problems, instead of taking the cowardly route of blaming the goras for their 'divide-and-rule' policy. We choose to be divided. And they choose to rule!

A show of force by the Police, Rangers, or the Army will not solve the root cause of the problem. It might help curb the violence on a temporary basis, but a longer-term, more permanent solution will take years, if not decades, to be implemented. Let us hope that the powers that be, for once, think about the prosperity and future of the City of Chaos, and bring it back to life... Make our city the City of Lights again!

Amen.

This post was also published by The Word Theatre at http://thewordtheatre.com/2014/08/06/karachi-the-city-of-chaos/

The second biggest moron in Pakistan!

There are three things that Pakistanis are very passionate about: politics, cricket, and religion! Every one of these things overlaps, and more often than not, undermines at least one of the other two. Politics of religion, religious cricket teams, political khutbas every Friday, etc.

But this blog is about the sad convergence of cricket and politics. The sport we all love, and the politicians we all love to hate, have very conveniently come together in the form of the subject of this blog: Ijaz Butt!

Mr Butt has done many things of note, very few of them noble or progressive, since he took over the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) about three or so years ago.

A spat with Javed Miandad, no saint himself, but a worthy cricketer and a better administrator than Butt for sure, started off Mr Butt's tenure. Sure these things had happened before in the PCB, but this dispute went all the way to the Senate, albeit, perhaps expectedly, without a concrete resolution from there.

The attack on the Sri Lankan national team was a disgrace, and not entirely the Board's fault (the security forces should be blamed equally), but Butt's remarks about exaggeration from Chris Broad were uncalled for. Chris Broad had just escaped an attack on his life, and an apology from the Board would have been nicer than the accusations of embellishment.

In light of the aforementioned attack, Pakistan was stripped of its World Cup hosting rights, which was not entirely unexpected. What was unexpected though, was Mr Butt threatening to sue the ICC! When a historically cricket-friendly country like Sri Lanka refuses to tour, who else would you expect to come? And what court of law would side with you??? What were you smoking, Mr Butt? People might argue about the financial compensations promised to the Board for hosting the event. If we were so worried about that, we should have better protected the Sri Lankan national team.

England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) saw an opportunity and invited Pakistan to host their home games in England, perhaps banking on the significant Pakistani diaspora there. A welcome change for Pakistan, and the cricket-crazy Pakistanis! But another Butt (Salman), and two Muhammads (Asif and Aamer) decided that since Pakistan was not playing much cricket anyways, they should bank as much as they could from that short series. Embarrassed, and as is often the case, disillussioned, Mr Butt (Ijaz) launched an offensive against the English team, accusing them of the same crimes. Proof? He didn't have it! Mr Butt does not bother himself with such trivial stuff!!!

Curbing player power? That was Mr Butt's argument in handing out the bans and fines on players. If he had in fact curbed their power, the fines and bans should have been in place now! But unfortunately, or fortunately perhaps, they are not.

Nine captains in three years! Disappointing to say the least. Silver lining: I look at it as every Pakistani having leadership qualities!

The latest saga that Mr Butt has been involved in has involved Shahid Afridi, the latest in the long line of sacked captains. He might not have been the best player in the team, but he was more than an able captain. A World Cup semifinal loss to the eventual champions, very nearly the bowler of the tournament, two away series wins; not exactly shabby. But he had his issues. Too many outspoken outbursts to the media was the major one. His sacking is not very unusual and might just have been just, but suspending his contract, and revoking the no-objection certificate (NOC) borders on the cruel. A prejudicial decision, but I guess that is how things get done in the great country of ours.

To all those who are blaming Afridi: what would you have done had you been in his shoes? What the PCB has done is cut off all his sources of income. The contract, which pays him well, has been suspended, which means no money coming from there. The NOC has been revoked, so no chance of plying his trade anywhere else. An athlete only has so many suns to make hay, unlike other professionals... so even a year on the out hurts!

And here is where politics will play a huge part in the tussle between the Pathan and the Butt. Mr Butt is a presidential appointee, but Afridi has approached politicians to push for his case as well. The judicial system will carry out its processes, and a resolution, hopefully, will be reached. Failure to grant Afridi the NOC should be compensated by the PCB, even if his contract is not reinstated.

Mr Butt has a chance to redeem himself, which he will waste, because he has gone senile, has anger-management issues, and is an egotistical maniac. The Pakistani cricket team will go through another mini-turmoil, and get back to its pre-Ijaz Butt mercurial glory. We will live to see another dawn, another drama, another Don, and another moron.

The question remains: who is the guy who trumped Mr Butt, and is THE biggest moron in Pakistan?